S4 E2
Say More with Susan McPherson
In this season’s second episode of Say More, I had the opportunity to talk to Susan McPherson, a super connector and seasoned communicator. Susan is one of the best connected people in the social good world and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies. She's also the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships.
Catch the full episode here or watch below.
Susan and I had a conversation about connection – a topic that I’ve previously discussed with Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy and one that is especially relevant right now as we’re living in a moment filled with examples of people being at odds with each other based on differing identities and ideologies.
Here’s what I’m taking away from this conversation:
A 2014 study found that over 70% of white Americans didn’t have relationships with people of color and we still see fragmentation by racial identity around us. How can we engage and build genuine connections across our differences? Susan shares that it is the notion of curiosity, taking interest in others, that can bring us closer together.
“I always come from a sense of grace because I can't begin to imagine what anybody else's lives have been like or what experiences they've had, and this is where that curiosity comes in, but with a sense of respect.” - Susan McPherson
We can flip networking on its head by being curious and doing what you can to add value to the person you’re connecting with, not in a transactional way, but in a way that’s about service and reciprocity.
“Something I fervently believe in is flipping what we traditionally think of networking…and thinking about what are the superpowers that I have that I can bring to the table?”
Grief is part of our shared humanity. In the U.S. we don’t necessarily have many shared rituals and there’s actually this really powerful opportunity to connect with others by talking about the ones we’ve lost.
“What I’ve learned from loss is it feels good when people bring them up because you're always thinking about that person, even though the rest of the world has moved on.”
To put this all in practice, Susan shares the “Gather, Ask, Do” method. Gather is where you connect with the most important person in your life, and that is yourself. What are your superpowers? The Ask phase is learning to ask meaningful questions of others, so we can find out what their hopes and dreams are. In the Do phase, we take all that we’ve learned to become dependable and trustworthy.
“It’s not about stopping your own life and helping everyone else, but it's about being able to tune in to people’s hopes, dreams, and desires and you could make one introduction that’s life-changing.”
Thank you, Susan for this refreshing conversation about building meaningful relationships with others across differences.
What resonated most with you? Let me know in the comments.
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